Everything was odd from the start. The feeling of sudden contentment and the sudden desertion of it have gradually brought me into the world I was once in. I was just in the high clouds yesterday. I can still feel the cold gentle wind in my arms as I walk down the aisles of eternal joy and endless conquest over the things I have prevailed over in past few days of my life. I was in great desolation and for a while I thought I had something going right in my life. How can fate be so cruel, unkind and insensitive over someone as commendable as I am?
The sky seems recurring to its original form, its furious winds, wobbly temperament and colossal power over me is slowly eating me up again as I beseech and submit my conviction to you. I just can’t believe it. Now, I understand how life can be very exasperating…how one should not totally trust it. It will never be fair so why brawl it back on an equal footing. Damn it, my mind is clear, I know what I’m doing and I know what I’m saying but I just don’t know exactly if what I’m feeling is right. I trusted you for I know what you can and not do. I gave it all for the glory of your name. I tried everything to change and follow your way which I guess didn’t work just like what you’ve picture it when I decided to finally give in to your dominance.
Up to know I don’t know what your plans are for me. Everything seems vague and very much unpredictable. But despite that I still and forever will be walking along your guidance and light. I want to believe that this is just one of your divine ways of making me realize that you have better plans for me. With that in mind I know I can overcome any obstacle that might come along my way. But then again, I’m just human, hurting but fighting and will perpetually be surviving. I may have complained a million times but my faith in you remains strong. I know you’re up there watching me every step of this never-ending ordeal and struggle of finding my true happiness. Someday, I know I can rest writing sad thoughts and make this blog something positive to be proud of, much less freeing me from this confinement only me and you can understand.
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