Easy Way Out

       I’ve seen a lot of people coming in and coming out of my life in a flash. Some opt to stay long and some don’t. A handful wants to re-enter and a number of them just won’t. But whatever their reasons are, I’m glad that finally they’re out of my life now. And to share what I’ve experienced on these people, I’ll help you count the ways if that very special someone in your life has evil plans of leaving you unnoticed!

1) Gives more time to friends than spending time with you.

2) A sudden change of priorities from you to their work.

3) Silently operates on his / her personal life without conferring with you.

4) Dresses lousily and miserably in front of your friends and family.

5) Suddenly becomes emotional and expressive.

6) Sexual desires decrease.

7) Intentionally misses dinner and special occasions.

8) Always preoccupied and out of sink.

9) Loves being alone and away from you.

10) All of a sudden becomes available to all.

Emotional Freaks

      For a reason or two, they seem very deep to understand. They are often emotional and very much attached to their feelings. If you haven’t met them, then let this list give you an idea on what it’s like to get up close and personal with these so called “emotional freaks” of nature…the sensitive ones and they are everywhere…

1) Objectivity is not in their dictionary.

2) They easily get irritated and annoyed.

3) Expressing sentiments is their favorite past time.

4) You would often hear them listening to sentimental songs.

5) They lack self-esteem and confidence.

6) They would react fast even on simple things.

7) They love arguing for no reason at all.

8) Silent treatment is their best defense.

9) Surprisingly, they can love unconditionally.

10) Always honest when emotion is at stake.

Heaven Sent

       The moment you opened your eyes, my life completely changed. The life I was ready to give up suddenly was given hope. If  before I had no direction in life, now I’m happy to be slowly taking little steps to pick up my pieces again. Since you came I was given another chance to breathe and exhale life. Your eyes that greets me, your little fingers that wants to touch me…made me feel I exist, that you need me and you want to reach out and experience my love for the first time.

       I know your silence tells a lot. You may not be aware of the things that are happening but I know your feeling it right now and I’m sorry. But don’t worry my little angel; you don’t have to say something. I’m happy just seeing you smile back at me. I promise to take care of you…I’ll be here ready to listen and willing to accompany you because you’re the answer to my every prayer. Always remember, I’ll do everything just don’t leave me. Stay with me and we’ll journey life together.

      Tomorrow, if I’ll see you again…I’ll let you feel my warm touch, hold you tight and shower you with my genuine love. I hope you’re listening. Thank you for bringing back my happiness. You not only made my life complete…you also brought two hearts together even for a while. Thank you for bridging the gap that brought you to the world. 

Black Christmas

      Christmas season is just around the corner. I’m just wondering if this will just be another ordinary Christmas for me. I hate it, this feeling of guilt whenever this season is coming. Actually, I don’t feel excited. It’s a season to be jolly according to a song, but who cares. I’m in a black hole where Christmas doesn’t exist. Who the hell cares if I’m happy?

       I’m not to blame, I wanted it to be a white Christmas but she just won’t let it happen. Now, I got use to it, celebrating Christmas in my solitude when it’s supposed to be an affair together with family and friends. I don’t mind, celebrate it the way you want it, just don’t judge me why I feel this way.

       This is becoming harder and harder I know. Every year I want Christmas to end and just pass me by. I’m tired of feeling this way but it’s my only way to survive. Maybe in time I would slowly bring back the good things that this season has once given me. I miss my Christmas! I miss myself. I miss my life! When will I finally give in to what I really want? This hatred is killing me each passing day. I can’t forget and I just can’t forgive. The pain is still here. Christmas is fast approaching and the hatred keeps on building up. I have my reasons and I want it to stay until I finally find that special reason to let go of this pain that has been here for so many years. Well, I can’t stop Christmas from coming. Be it. This black Christmas will continue to exist and will forever plagued me for the rest of my life.

Vulnerable Heart

Amidst all my fears

Reasons has come along to conquer it all 

Vulnerable heart, who’s the culprit?

Indubitably, but hardly explained 

No one but the person named after this poem 

 

Gorgeously dressed up by fate

Aware not being destined by hate 

Resurrected & reflected with love & affection 

Carry me thru your fragile arms

Inculcate the pureness & sweet sensation 

Adore for I also come along to love you forevermore

Ticket To Hell

      I’ve been in limbo in the past few days. Honestly, I have no idea why these things are repeatedly happening in my life. I really don’t know where I’m heading. I’m confused as always, what’s new. I hate this feeling; this feeling that keeps on coming back. I feel so all alone and isolated. When one aspect of my life is not good, expect the worst because the rest will certainly be affected and the results are devastating both physically and emotionally.

       My only complain is why me? My God I’ve been good, I’ve been fair all my life and this is what I get in return may it be with friends, family, work, fuck name it, I have them all in my list! I remember when I was my younger, my dad would say, when you grow up its important to be fair always. That’s what will keep you apart from the rest. Ok, I followed my dad and he was wrong.  Its not working, people are really born to take the bigger piece of the cake and they won’t stop until they don’t get every piece of everything. Maybe I’m the problem but why? All I did was to think of what they would feel first before minding my own feelings. Fair enough? Fuck, of course, 100 percent fair! But I’m not getting what is rightfully due for me.

       That has been the case always and it’s tiring. I’m tired of being pushed around by people who don’t even deserve any fair treatment or judgment. Life sucks and will continue to suck. If you all want hell on earth, then I’ll give it. I tried to avoid becoming who I was before but if you want it, I’ll bring it back and raise hell once again! 

Clinically Insane

Everyone has his own sad story to tell. Who cares! They say sharing your experiences can somehow ease the burden. Yah right in some way but it’s a risk we all have to take if we want to preserve our sanity in tact. Here are some ways to help you keep sane and live to tell your story.

1) Never attempt to share your problems to your mothers.
2) Listen to advices but push with what you believed in.
3) Hold your ground and don’t be distracted.
4) Blog ‘til you run out of words to say.
5) Smoke and drink all you want when you feel you’re breaking down into pieces.
6) Visit porn sites once in awhile to keep in touch with reality.
7) Think of things you’ll be trailing behind if someday you’ll lose your mind.
8) Forgive yourself.
9) Talk and think less.
10) Do things not because you’re sane.